this song explains everything that i am feeling towards a number of people in my life right now. it's complicated, but i wish that i had enough courage to confront those people. its just extremely hard; to watch a person you love so much, go through so much "unconcious" pain, and you can't do anything to help them. these people need to realize that God is going to be with them no matter what, but they need to change their devious ways, and let God take. They can't fight their "unconcious" pain on their own, there is a greater power that will do that for them. God loves them so much, and so do I, and for me, I need to be a vessel for God to those people who are suffering. Its really confusing, and i wish that i could straighten things out. What i need is strength.

 

if you can, take a chance to check out this song. it's amazing.

 

 

"Here I Go Again" by Casting Crowns

 

Father, hear my prayer
I need the perfect words
Words that he will hear
And know they're straight from You
I don't know what to say
I only know it hurts
To see my only friend slowly fade away

So maybe this time I'll speak the words of life
With Your fire in my eyes
But that old familiar fear is tearing at my words
What am I so afraid of?

'Cause here I go again
Talkin' bout the rain
And mulling over things that won't live past today
And as I dance around the truth
Time is not his friend
This might be my last chance to tell him that
You love him
But here I go again,
Here I go again

Lord, You love him so, You gave Your only Son
If he will just believe; he will never die
But how then will he know what he has never heard
Lord he has never seen mirrored in my life

So maybe this time I'll speak the words of life
With Your fire in my eyes
But that old familiar fear is tearing at my words
What am I so afraid of?

'Cause here I go again
Talkin' bout the rain
And mulling over things that won't live past today
And as I dance around the truth
Time is not his friend
This might be my last chance to tell him that
You love him
But here I go again,
Here I go... here I go...

This might be my last chance to tell him that You love him
This might be my last chance to tell him that You love him
You love him, You love him
What Am I so afraid
What am I so afraid
What am I so afraid of?
How then will he know
What he has never heard

 

-me