|megan|

i haven't written in here in awhile.

i'm too busy on my other blog.

i was just looking at my workcamp pictures. i freakin miss everyone! lol. i especially miss the summer. i'm not a big fan of winter. it's just way too cold. i like the fact that christmas is coming.

i sliced my finger today at work. now it is killing me.

i don't know what to say!

haha. well. i think i'm done

 

ciao

 

this song explains everything that i am feeling towards a number of people in my life right now. it's complicated, but i wish that i had enough courage to confront those people. its just extremely hard; to watch a person you love so much, go through so much "unconcious" pain, and you can't do anything to help them. these people need to realize that God is going to be with them no matter what, but they need to change their devious ways, and let God take. They can't fight their "unconcious" pain on their own, there is a greater power that will do that for them. God loves them so much, and so do I, and for me, I need to be a vessel for God to those people who are suffering. Its really confusing, and i wish that i could straighten things out. What i need is strength.

 

if you can, take a chance to check out this song. it's amazing.

 

 

"Here I Go Again" by Casting Crowns

 

Father, hear my prayer
I need the perfect words
Words that he will hear
And know they're straight from You
I don't know what to say
I only know it hurts
To see my only friend slowly fade away

So maybe this time I'll speak the words of life
With Your fire in my eyes
But that old familiar fear is tearing at my words
What am I so afraid of?

'Cause here I go again
Talkin' bout the rain
And mulling over things that won't live past today
And as I dance around the truth
Time is not his friend
This might be my last chance to tell him that
You love him
But here I go again,
Here I go again

Lord, You love him so, You gave Your only Son
If he will just believe; he will never die
But how then will he know what he has never heard
Lord he has never seen mirrored in my life

So maybe this time I'll speak the words of life
With Your fire in my eyes
But that old familiar fear is tearing at my words
What am I so afraid of?

'Cause here I go again
Talkin' bout the rain
And mulling over things that won't live past today
And as I dance around the truth
Time is not his friend
This might be my last chance to tell him that
You love him
But here I go again,
Here I go... here I go...

This might be my last chance to tell him that You love him
This might be my last chance to tell him that You love him
You love him, You love him
What Am I so afraid
What am I so afraid
What am I so afraid of?
How then will he know
What he has never heard

 

-me

 

so this weekend was supposed to be awesome. and in parts, it was. friday i hung out with jacky and steph, we went to ludington and did absolutely nothing, and we went to applebees and ate until we could eat no more.

 

we came home, and i knew jena was pissed. i can just tell these things. then i went down to gliks, spent some money, too much maybe, and went to the game.

 

mhs won. maegen doyen won queen and cameron umlauf won king. it was cute.

 

i stayed the night at jena's along with jacky. we talked half the night. we were being obnoxious and annoying. haha. it's our specialty. we all decided we need a change. jacky's going more along the lines of clothing. jena and i are more along the lines of lifestyle. i've come to a conclusion. i need to go to a university. lol

 

saturday was awesome. i was supposed to go to a thousand foot krutch concert, and i was psyched to go. we left around four in the afternoon. we got all ready and "concert hot," and we got lost. well see...it went down like this.

 

we were doing fine until we hit muskegon. then we kind of got all mesmerized when we pulled up to the sweet car with sweet looking guys in it. haha. so we're trying to, i don't know what the hell we were trying to do. and then we missed our exit, because i didn't want to cut someone off.

                   -we see hot guys

                   -we miss our exit

                   -we get lost because our directions were crap

                   -we FINALLY get to "The Ground Floor," and come to find out....

 

 

it was funny

so we went and ate at red lobster

our waiter was an ass

then we went to the mall

grrreat.

haha

 

that was my "awesomely wicked" weekend.

now tomorrow i have to go to work. FUN

 

mucho amor

-megan

summer's gone. my feet are freezing! i miss having warm feet. haha.

 

i was looking at my pictures from workcamp. that makes me miss summer even more. i haven't talked to any of the people that i met at workcamp in a long time. i haven't talked to aaron for at least a month. john...lets not go there...and kyle...KYLE! he's a cool kid. i don't have any pictures of him though. and ben...he's awesome too. i wish i could go back and change some of the things that i have done this summer. i would of definitely not got to traverse as much as i did. stupid mark. he doesn't talk to me no more either. jerk. i'll just have to go down to central and visit him and justine. i wanted to do that this weekend, but justine's coming up i guess. i don't know. i still have yet to talk to her. i probably would of prepared for college a lot better, and worked a little more. i think i should of renewed myself. i need to get back on the track of life. my train has jumped the track, and it's taken awhile for it to get back on. it's sad that i might need a trip to do that. i've come to the realization that i can't do it on my own and i need guidance. i was hoping workcamp could put me back on track, but it was hard with a single distraction there.

 

well, today is the start of my absolutely wonderful weekend, even though it's thursday, i don't have class or work the rest of the weekend. there will be a follow up on my weekend, i'm just preparing you all for a little excitement when it's monday.

 

jena and i are supposed to be going to the student/staff tennis game today. we'll make a stop at goody's too. i want something warrrm to drink, seeing how it's freezing out. i'm wearing my huge three doors down sweater that i got at their concert. it's ginormous. lol.

 

i'm listening to switchfoot. alright, so i might be a little obsessed, but there is nothing wrong with that. i love it. it's stuff that doesn't sound like any of their old stuff. brand spankin' new. the music and the lyrics remind me of bob dylan, well, considering the fact that he was their main influence for this album.

 

OH i get paid today! great fun. i have money now for the weekend. i'm going to have to run down there soon. hurry up jena. get out of collegiates. you really don't like that class anyways....

 

mucho amor-

megan

schools becoming a pain in my ass. i hate getting up in the morning. when i wake up, i look forward to getting back in bed and sleeping. that sounds absolutely pathetic.

 

i bought the new SWITCHFOOT cd yesterday when i hung out in ludington after class. and i'm loooovin' it!  i went to walmart. haha. i practically live there. i bought some candy corn also for the movies. i went and saw FLIGHTPLAN with jacky and jason. there's nothing like being the third wheel. it should be a profession, because Lord knows i could make it one. i need a change in my life... 

 

 

 

i need to put more pictures on here. i think i'll start carrying around my digital camera more often. :D

 

mucho amor-

-meg

 

 

hate. it's a very strong word. but sometimes you just can't help to feel the way you feel. and hate is exactly what i'm feeling right now. i feel as though i need to slap/kick/punch/gauge/slit his entire face. he doesn't make anyone happy when he is home, he's not even happy when he's home. he's a jackass, and i can't take it anymore. i should of went away to college. at least it would of gotten me out of the wretched house. gosh. apparently we are the most horrible people in the world to him. well, screw him.

 

well now that i vented out part of my horrible life, i believe it's time for me to go read for psych.

 

-megan